read into things too much …

don’t you think that you do?

get over it. you really didn’t mean anything. you were there. i was lonely. and we happened to have a baby. if you did/do mean anything .. trust me. it’s nothing good.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

i have let you be. i have let you be a million times. you are the one who always “wants to talk” and then wants me to start the conversation when i have nothing more to say to you. i have put everything out on the table. i have been blunt; frank; brash; forward; upfront .. among things. i have tried to see things from your point of view and get lost if the fuzz. you have no pure logic. just myth. just what works for you at that exact moment. or what you think makes you sound better. i told you that you couldn’t see him by yourself and instead of stepping up and wanting to see your son no matter what .. you backed down and spewed out insults at me. and when i told you that the day you chose wasn’t a good day instead of doing what any normal, logical, rational person would do .. like asking which day would be a better day, you yelled and spat and threatened to take me to court then you didn’t bother to call about this son of yours that you love so much for a week. actualy then you didn’t call either. i called you. it IS NOT AND HAS NEVER BEEN AND WILL NOT BE MY RESPONSIBILITY TO CALL AND ASK YOU IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR SON! that is your responsibility. should i take to calling you and saying “hey! remember this kid of yours? ya so do you want to be part of his life or not?” no i think not. you should be the one who grows up a little and becomes a man and says “yes i want to see my son” but not even that. words mean nothing. why don’t you grow up a little and be a man and take the inituative to call and say “can i see my son on this day?” “can we make plans to do this?” “can i come out there and see my son?” but no. you do not. and did not. and for this you are right.

i am the bad person.

p.s. i really appreciate this. (this is from his sister)

—————– Original Message —————–
From: <a href=’http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=35076864&MyToken=324488e1-cc51-48b9-b79d-5e664ea9ded2′>rinmac</a>
Date: Jun 24, 2008 1:04 AM

Let me ask you something. Is it really in your best interest (and Elijah’s) to excuse Brandon from your life? Do you want Elijah to grow up w/o a father? You may be great, but you aren’t everything to that little boy. Why are you jumping to the conclusion that Brandon is beating up a toddler? Do you really think he’s capable of that? Child abuse, rape? Are these words you just throw around in casual conversation? You are destroying his life, you know that right? Is it that important you have so much power in your life? Why do you hate him so much?

Bygones…Your life isn’t about what you want anymore. You’re a mom. Everything you do will come back to haunt you.<br style=”display:none”/>

my reply …
please ask for both sides of the story before you jump to conclussions. i know that brandon is your brother so there for you believe him above all else but please refrain from nagging at me when you don’t know the whole story.
no one said anything about rape and i am not destroying his life. he did that himself. i DID not take elijah away from him. i was told that he couldn’t have contact with him until the case is over. i told brandon flat out that he could not take him alone and brandon is the one who never called and asked if he could come out here or if i could go in there so that is not my fault. and when the case was closed he called and asked when he could see him i said i didn’t know and told him to pick a date and time he asked if he could watch him the next day and i told him that that was no good so instead of being logical and mature about the situation and asking when would be a good day he flipped and once again for the billionth time threatened to take me to court. it is really not in his best intrest to do that. you know it and i know it. .. after that i didn’t hear from him for a week until i called him!
believe what you will. i don’t care. but please be a little more mature then to randomly send me emails going off on a subject before you are willing to hear both sides of the story. if you have any questions i will answer them.
and on the whole my life not being about me. i’m not doing this for me. i like having that slight break every now and again. who wouldn’t? but when it comes to my children being hurt and no one being able to tell me why or how, then yes. i get defensive. are you telling me that you wouldn’t? are you telling me that if one of your children came home with a mark like that on the back of their necks that you wouldn’t want to know what happened? are you telling me that if that happened and you called and wanted an explanation and you were told that it was a t shirt and then got yelled at because you were the one that dressed him that you wouldn’t be upset and want to know what happened to your baby? if you can honestly tell me that you wouldn’t care .. then maybe you should learn what it is to be a mother.
……

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